I once had a map in my head
Of the places your skin had touched mine.
The front seat of your automobile
The closet
In your apartment.
The shower by my dormroom
The alcove
By the front door.
I thought holding your hand meant
I'd never be cold again.
The pressed sand of the new beach.
The restaurants
That we went to
The tumble of your sheets
The movies
That we kissed through.
I thought
Throwing my hair back,
I'd never be blind again.
I used to think
A thought was a contract
That my hopes
Were your plans
I thought
Sleeping in your bed
Made you irreplaceable.
I used to hear
What I wanted to hear.
I used to say
Whateve
I was never someone that hated the far-
away
Across gaps like these,
I looked hungrily, and in silence
I heard my viewers gasp.
When I bought into these mystic threads, I thought this phrase:
"A memory so powerful it can be sensed in the past"
Someone else said it before I began to chant it, but even with waterc
A new direction,
A path above the woods:
I am the Übermensch,
The alpha and the omega
(Whatever)
I stand where rocks crumble,
And I eat where others would shriek and vomit.
Both lady and tiger,
I am the hand that strangles and pulls.
I am kissing and biting,
like an IV drip delivering the heart's blood
Of this lonely bastard,
I'm whispering my secrets
And you'd damned well better like it.
I could make you love me,
Because I can step through a deck of cards
Without touching a spade.
I can make you hate me;
I am the puppet master,
And I pull the words from your mouth.
In 2010, they decided to combine nutrition and Internet.
I say, "they;" I mean some crackpot somewhere in Russia-- I mean, he probably just found out about the Internet a few months before, am I right? Russia, you know.
Anyway, a few years later (that is, April 16, 2013), I found myself holding a can of Lebedev's Internet soda (Very Strawberry flavor).
"Johnson," I said, examining the frosty beverage, "What am I holding?"
Johnson put his cold hand on my shoulder and said, "Okay, Lisa, okay. So you know the Internet."
"I know of it," I said, moving away from his hand.
He waved his suddenly free hand; "Now, you can fucking drink it."
I
If you were the man who skins girls after he's done with them,
I'd make a fur coat out of you,
Rabbit fur and raccoon fur and a murderer I once knew.
If the moon knew a thing about how women really think,
She'd puff her cheeks out and sink back into the sea,
Bury her face in the sand she doesn't reach and sigh it all away.
If I am to die, I want hands carved on my tombstone,
One held to the rock in pledge, one extended to help you down;
I want to be followed into the dirt and have shoes pack me in.
In a moment, I'll be sleeping,
And every night I hope for dreams--
Such effortless terror and desire.
I want nightmares, I want flight
I empty myself out, periodically, running water through my pipes that breaks all the levees and gates and little huts of the civilization I've cultivated; it leaves me bare, and I am sparse, a tree with no branches, marring the horizon as only a corpse in summer can. I walk lightly beside pain, taking the bridge over stepping stones to keep my cuffs dry, and want to throw myself over, not really knowing that the spray is harsh enough. I dip into wells, into swamps and pools of ink, and wash the still water into my skin, wiping out envy for bacchanalians and lunatics and fancying myself a lunatician madwoman for cutting m
It's a badly kept secret
That my saliva is like chemical waste
And it strips away your gums
So that my lips slide over
Inches and inches of bare bone, teeth,
And you look like a rabbit
With crinkled fur.
It's a mark I want to preserve,
The gift of ownership, domination,
Futile, because you are ever-changing--
A snake, a rabbit, a bird, a bull,
And I am left on my own
Holding a cornucopia of nothing,
Apropos of the bug I swallowed,
The drool that dripped from a downward-
Pointing tongue when I was sobbing on the grass.
All the words that could describe
A flinging wide of the arms,
A surrender to humanity
That robs it of any victory
And allows the wave to thunder
Over unyielding flotsam
Have hidden behind your lips;
A crash of strength
Sealed in absolute frailty.
The untouched, but solid,
But immaculately covered by fingerprints,
The piercing strings of silence
Within the delicate bones of an ear
Rise to the surface: beneath the surface,
Deepen to a rough purple;
A crush of strength
Sealed in absolute frigidity.
Something is hidden in plain sight,
And still water runs deep,
But still, shallow,
Because you are the aquifer,
Sunk so deeply
I once had a map in my head
Of the places your skin had touched mine.
The front seat of your automobile
The closet
In your apartment.
The shower by my dormroom
The alcove
By the front door.
I thought holding your hand meant
I'd never be cold again.
The pressed sand of the new beach.
The restaurants
That we went to
The tumble of your sheets
The movies
That we kissed through.
I thought
Throwing my hair back,
I'd never be blind again.
I used to think
A thought was a contract
That my hopes
Were your plans
I thought
Sleeping in your bed
Made you irreplaceable.
I used to hear
What I wanted to hear.
I used to say
Whateve
I was never someone that hated the far-
away
Across gaps like these,
I looked hungrily, and in silence
I heard my viewers gasp.
When I bought into these mystic threads, I thought this phrase:
"A memory so powerful it can be sensed in the past"
Someone else said it before I began to chant it, but even with waterc
A new direction,
A path above the woods:
I am the Übermensch,
The alpha and the omega
(Whatever)
I stand where rocks crumble,
And I eat where others would shriek and vomit.
Both lady and tiger,
I am the hand that strangles and pulls.
I am kissing and biting,
like an IV drip delivering the heart's blood
Of this lonely bastard,
I'm whispering my secrets
And you'd damned well better like it.
I could make you love me,
Because I can step through a deck of cards
Without touching a spade.
I can make you hate me;
I am the puppet master,
And I pull the words from your mouth.
In 2010, they decided to combine nutrition and Internet.
I say, "they;" I mean some crackpot somewhere in Russia-- I mean, he probably just found out about the Internet a few months before, am I right? Russia, you know.
Anyway, a few years later (that is, April 16, 2013), I found myself holding a can of Lebedev's Internet soda (Very Strawberry flavor).
"Johnson," I said, examining the frosty beverage, "What am I holding?"
Johnson put his cold hand on my shoulder and said, "Okay, Lisa, okay. So you know the Internet."
"I know of it," I said, moving away from his hand.
He waved his suddenly free hand; "Now, you can fucking drink it."
I
If you were the man who skins girls after he's done with them,
I'd make a fur coat out of you,
Rabbit fur and raccoon fur and a murderer I once knew.
If the moon knew a thing about how women really think,
She'd puff her cheeks out and sink back into the sea,
Bury her face in the sand she doesn't reach and sigh it all away.
If I am to die, I want hands carved on my tombstone,
One held to the rock in pledge, one extended to help you down;
I want to be followed into the dirt and have shoes pack me in.
In a moment, I'll be sleeping,
And every night I hope for dreams--
Such effortless terror and desire.
I want nightmares, I want flight
I empty myself out, periodically, running water through my pipes that breaks all the levees and gates and little huts of the civilization I've cultivated; it leaves me bare, and I am sparse, a tree with no branches, marring the horizon as only a corpse in summer can. I walk lightly beside pain, taking the bridge over stepping stones to keep my cuffs dry, and want to throw myself over, not really knowing that the spray is harsh enough. I dip into wells, into swamps and pools of ink, and wash the still water into my skin, wiping out envy for bacchanalians and lunatics and fancying myself a lunatician madwoman for cutting m
It's a badly kept secret
That my saliva is like chemical waste
And it strips away your gums
So that my lips slide over
Inches and inches of bare bone, teeth,
And you look like a rabbit
With crinkled fur.
It's a mark I want to preserve,
The gift of ownership, domination,
Futile, because you are ever-changing--
A snake, a rabbit, a bird, a bull,
And I am left on my own
Holding a cornucopia of nothing,
Apropos of the bug I swallowed,
The drool that dripped from a downward-
Pointing tongue when I was sobbing on the grass.
All the words that could describe
A flinging wide of the arms,
A surrender to humanity
That robs it of any victory
And allows the wave to thunder
Over unyielding flotsam
Have hidden behind your lips;
A crash of strength
Sealed in absolute frailty.
The untouched, but solid,
But immaculately covered by fingerprints,
The piercing strings of silence
Within the delicate bones of an ear
Rise to the surface: beneath the surface,
Deepen to a rough purple;
A crush of strength
Sealed in absolute frigidity.
Something is hidden in plain sight,
And still water runs deep,
But still, shallow,
Because you are the aquifer,
Sunk so deeply
It's one of those times
When I think maybe
My tongue's been cut out,
Hidden somewhere I can't find-
And it's not quite identification,
But I've got my heart out on this plate
And it's flapping and beating and
I did not belive I had this much
Inside of me.
And it's not quite condolence,
But I've got a hand for you to hold
And it's severed and cold and
I did not expect rigor mortis
To happen this fast.
And it's not quite myself,
But I've got a lifetime here
And it's limp and kind of boring but
I'm realizing again
That nothing's finished yet.
-And I found my words in the kitchen drawer
And I'm almost done sewing them back on
A guy walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. "What do you call that?", asks the bartender. The guy responds, "I call him Tiny, because he's my newt!"
Favourite cartoon character: Domon Kasshu Personal Quote: I don't live here - this is just where I sleep.
Favourite Movies
Saw, Fight Club, District 13, Cactus
Favourite Bands / Musical Artists
fun., The Format, Panic! At the Disco, Superbus, Pomplamoose
Ee-yup, I'm maybe back with maybe some new writing if I don't pussy out like I always do and stop writing things.
Guys, I'm too young to have regrets. This is stupid.
I don't want to be mediocre. Awesome people take risks in their social and professional lives* and they're brave and not pansy ass layabouts like I've been most of my life.
I don't know if anyone I know IRL is on this site anymore. I deleted everything from my inbox without looking at it because 767 new pieces is a big number.
*Public service announcement: only take risks with your actual life if that's really the only avenue to awesomeness you can see.