Ghelenestenar

if nothing goes wrong

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Sick Without by Ghelenestenar, literature

Literature

Sick Without

I once had a map in my head Of the places your skin had touched mine. The front seat of your automobile The closet In your apartment. The shower by my dormroom The alcove By the front door. I thought holding your hand meant I'd never be cold again. The pressed sand of the new beach. The restaurants That we went to The tumble of your sheets The movies That we kissed through. I thought Throwing my hair back, I'd never be blind again. I used to think A thought was a contract That my hopes Were your plans I thought Sleeping in your bed Made you irreplaceable. I used to hear What I wanted to hear. I used to say Whateve

Gap.s. by Ghelenestenar, literature

Literature

Gap.s.

I was never someone that hated the far- away Across gaps like these, I looked hungrily, and in silence I heard my viewers gasp. When I bought into these mystic threads, I thought this phrase: "A memory so powerful it can be sensed in the past" Someone else said it before I began to chant it, but even with waterc

Lady and Tiger by Ghelenestenar, literature

Literature

Lady and Tiger

A new direction, A path above the woods: I am the Übermensch, The alpha and the omega (Whatever) I stand where rocks crumble, And I eat where others would shriek and vomit. Both lady and tiger, I am the hand that strangles and pulls. I am kissing and biting, like an IV drip delivering the heart's blood Of this lonely bastard, I'm whispering my secrets And you'd damned well better like it. I could make you love me, Because I can step through a deck of cards Without touching a spade. I can make you hate me; I am the puppet master, And I pull the words from your mouth.

Internet Soda by Ghelenestenar, literature

Literature

Internet Soda

In 2010, they decided to combine nutrition and Internet. I say, "they;" I mean some crackpot somewhere in Russia-- I mean, he probably just found out about the Internet a few months before, am I right? Russia, you know. Anyway, a few years later (that is, April 16, 2013), I found myself holding a can of Lebedev's Internet soda (Very Strawberry flavor). "Johnson," I said, examining the frosty beverage, "What am I holding?" Johnson put his cold hand on my shoulder and said, "Okay, Lisa, okay. So you know the Internet." "I know of it," I said, moving away from his hand. He waved his suddenly free hand; "Now, you can fucking drink it." I

How to Think by Ghelenestenar, literature

Literature

How to Think

If you were the man who skins girls after he's done with them, I'd make a fur coat out of you, Rabbit fur and raccoon fur and a murderer I once knew. If the moon knew a thing about how women really think, She'd puff her cheeks out and sink back into the sea, Bury her face in the sand she doesn't reach and sigh it all away. If I am to die, I want hands carved on my tombstone, One held to the rock in pledge, one extended to help you down; I want to be followed into the dirt and have shoes pack me in. In a moment, I'll be sleeping, And every night I hope for dreams-- Such effortless terror and desire. I want nightmares, I want flight

Sun's Hand by Ghelenestenar, literature

Literature

Sun's Hand

I empty myself out, periodically, running water through my pipes that breaks all the levees and gates and little huts of the civilization I've cultivated; it leaves me bare, and I am sparse, a tree with no branches, marring the horizon as only a corpse in summer can. I walk lightly beside pain, taking the bridge over stepping stones to keep my cuffs dry, and want to throw myself over, not really knowing that the spray is harsh enough. I dip into wells, into swamps and pools of ink, and wash the still water into my skin, wiping out envy for bacchanalians and lunatics and fancying myself a lunatician madwoman for cutting m

Apropos by Ghelenestenar, literature

Literature

Apropos

It's a badly kept secret That my saliva is like chemical waste And it strips away your gums So that my lips slide over Inches and inches of bare bone, teeth, And you look like a rabbit With crinkled fur. It's a mark I want to preserve, The gift of ownership, domination, Futile, because you are ever-changing-- A snake, a rabbit, a bird, a bull, And I am left on my own Holding a cornucopia of nothing, Apropos of the bug I swallowed, The drool that dripped from a downward- Pointing tongue when I was sobbing on the grass.

Dominique Francon by Ghelenestenar, literature

Literature

Dominique Francon

All the words that could describe A flinging wide of the arms, A surrender to humanity That robs it of any victory And allows the wave to thunder Over unyielding flotsam Have hidden behind your lips; A crash of strength Sealed in absolute frailty. The untouched, but solid, But immaculately covered by fingerprints, The piercing strings of silence Within the delicate bones of an ear Rise to the surface: beneath the surface, Deepen to a rough purple; A crush of strength Sealed in absolute frigidity. Something is hidden in plain sight, And still water runs deep, But still, shallow, Because you are the aquifer, Sunk so deeply

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Sick Without by Ghelenestenar, literature

Literature

Sick Without

Gap.s. by Ghelenestenar, literature

Literature

Gap.s.

Lady and Tiger by Ghelenestenar, literature

Literature

Lady and Tiger

Internet Soda by Ghelenestenar, literature

Literature

Internet Soda

How to Think by Ghelenestenar, literature

Literature

How to Think

Sun's Hand by Ghelenestenar, literature

Literature

Sun's Hand

Apropos by Ghelenestenar, literature

Literature

Apropos

Dominique Francon by Ghelenestenar, literature

Literature

Dominique Francon

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Reinvent, Renew by Ghelenestenar, literature

Literature

Reinvent, Renew

It's one of those times When I think maybe My tongue's been cut out, Hidden somewhere I can't find- And it's not quite identification, But I've got my heart out on this plate And it's flapping and beating and I did not belive I had this much Inside of me. And it's not quite condolence, But I've got a hand for you to hold And it's severed and cold and I did not expect rigor mortis To happen this fast. And it's not quite myself, But I've got a lifetime here And it's limp and kind of boring but I'm realizing again That nothing's finished yet. -And I found my words in the kitchen drawer And I'm almost done sewing them back on

Reinvent, Renew

Ghelenestenar

About Ghelenestenar

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Apr 27, 1992
United States
Deviant for 17 years
They / Them

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My Bio

A guy walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. "What do you call that?", asks the bartender. The guy responds, "I call him Tiny, because he's my newt!"

Favourite cartoon character: Domon Kasshu
Personal Quote: I don't live here - this is just where I sleep.

Favourite Movies

Saw, Fight Club, District 13, Cactus

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

fun., The Format, Panic! At the Disco, Superbus, Pomplamoose

Favourite Writers

Dylan Thomas, Garth Nix, Chuck Palahniuk

Tools of the Trade

Anything

Other Interests

Creativity

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Ghelenestenar

Dec 26, 2011

Whoa holy shit

0 min read

Ee-yup, I'm maybe back with maybe some new writing if I don't pussy out like I always do and stop writing things. Guys, I'm too young to have regrets.   This is stupid. I don't want to be mediocre.  Awesome people take risks in their social and professional lives* and they're brave and not pansy ass layabouts like I've been most of my life. I don't know if anyone I know IRL is on this site anymore.  I deleted everything from my inbox without looking at it because 767 new pieces is a big number. *Public service announcement: only take risks with your actual life if that's really the only avenue to awesomeness you can see.